New Milton Advertiser 22nd Jan 2021

14 · Friday 22nd January 2021

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‘You’re not alone’ - mum opens up over autism

spent a month in England every June so that I could spend time with William and take him out, but it wasn’t enough and now I can see him every week.” In the often emotional book, Grace recalls doctors suggest- ed William might be autistic when he was three years old. She said: “At the time, autism was not a well understood con- dition and was often regarded as a consequence of ‘a mother’s coldness’. “When my doctor suggested that William might be autistic, I went to the local library and borrowed three books written by parents of autistic children as I had no knowledge of what that meant. “When I read the parents’ ac- counts I was able to diagnose William immediately. Although all autistic children are differ- ent, their behaviour follows a pattern and all affected chil- dren share certain traits. “Now William is 41 and he has many issues with daily life. I would like to share my life’s journey with those in similar situations, but also wider so- ciety and shed light on what is still a relatively misunderstood condition.” Autism is a lifelong develop- mental disability which affects how people communicate and interact. One in 100 people are on the autism spectrum and there are around 700,000 autis- tic adults and children in the UK. Grace is currently working on a Spanish translation of the book. The Phantom Killer and Her Autistic Son is available on Amazon as a paperback for £8.99.

Book offers support to families caring for autistic members

Museum hopes for 1803 Nelson cabinet Antique dealer Charles Wallrock has reserved the medicine cabinet

BY ROZ WATERS

A NEW Milton mother has penned a heartfelt account of the challenges of caring for her autistic son over more than 40 years. The book, entitled The Phan- tom Killer and Her Autistic Son, is by Grace Venters (67) who has lived in New Milton with her husband Nigel for the last three years, having previ- ously lived in Argentina to look after her elderly parents. She hopes that by telling her story she can raise awareness of the often misunderstood con- dition, and give hope to other parents who find themselves in a similar situation. Son William (41), who lives in sheltered accommodation, has many behavioural traits result- ing from his condition including a lack of social skills, repetitive activities such as switch-flick - ing and closing doors, and a tendency to self-harm during periods of severe stress. However, he can also calcu- late on which day of the week any date in history fell and re- call world time zones instantly. Grace said: “William can be very sweet and lovable or really horrible. I always describe life with him a bit like a rollercoast- er – you laugh when you are go- ing up and scream when you are coming down.” She added: “When your child behaves in a way not expected or approved by society, you feel THE first of New Forest Dis - trict Council’s shared owner- ship homes have gone on sale reserved for locals to help them get on the property ladder. The two semi-detached, three-bedroom homes in Mul- berry Close, Blackfield, each have a fitted kitchen including cooker and dishwasher, under- floor heating and private gar - dens. Shared ownership provides an opportunity for people to buy an initial share of between 25% and 75% of the property, paying rent on the remaining share. Further shares can then be purchased, with rent reducing as ownership of the property in- creases, until ultimately it can be bought outright. The current properties are on sale for £78,750 for a 25% share. Additional rent on the remain- ing 75% and service charges would amount to a further £600

A LYMINGTON antique dealer has cut the price of a histor- ic medicine cabinet linked to Lord Nelson in the hope med- ics can raise enough money to buy it for a British museum. To help, Charles Wallrock has sliced £1,000 from the asking price and reserved the item, which belonged to the surgeon who attended the famous ad- miral when he died at the Bat- tle of Trafalgar, to members of the Roy- al Medical Service for £15,500. The fund- raising cam- paign is being led purchase the cabinet to store it at the planned visitor cen- tre and museum at the former Royal Naval Hospital Haslar in Gosport, Hampshire. “I think it would be wonder- ful if this were put on display in a museum,” said Mr Wallrock, who runs Wick Antiques. “I bought it from a collector who had owned it for many years, so its existence came as a surprise to many.” Dated to 1803, two years be - by Surgeon Li eutenant Command- er Jo Laird who wants to

fore Nelson was fatally shot on board the flagship HMS Victo - ry, the 10in high wooden apoth- ecary case is portable with a handle on top. It would have contained a variety of tinctures from laudanum to cures for ve- nereal disease. Beatty, an Irish surgeon, had been appointed to HMS Vic- tory in December 1804 having previously served on a number of ships. ty wrote a detailed ac- count, insist- ing the ad- miral’s final words were: “Thank God I have done my duty” – before asking for a kiss from his friend, Royal Navy of- ficer Sir Thomas Hardy. Beatty went on to become Physician of the Channel Fleet and was active in promoting the new vaccine against small- pox. He was appointed Physi- cian at Greenwich Hospital and also Physician Extraordinary in Scotland to King George IV. He died in 1842 aged 68. To donate visit www.crowd funder.co.uk/save-a-part-of- royal-navy-medical-history After Nelson’s death Beat-

Grace Venters has written a book on caring for her autistic son William

like you are drowning in a sea of uncertainty and you are at a loss as to how to keep afloat. “I hope I can comfort parents by reassuring them that they are not alone on their own jour- ney.” The book’s title was inspired by a family joke about her “kill- ing off” various fictional inven - tors who William had asked her to commission to solve prob- lems in his life.

Grace explained: “William doesn’t always grasp reality so he comes up with some pretty fantastical ideas to solve vari- ous issues. “When we were living in Ar- gentina he was at a school two hours from our home and he wanted to be able to come home every evening, so he kept asking me to find someone who would build a runway to fly him home.”

In the end Grace agreed to find a fictitious builder for the runway and later explained to William that he had been run over while buying bricks in Rio, and was unable to complete the project. Grace, who has spent her life living between the UK and her native Argentina, said: “I will remain in England now as I want to stay close to William. “When we lived in Argentina I

First NFDC shared ownership homes on the market for locals

tunity to take their first step onto the housing ladder in an area with high prices locally. “If you have a local connec- tion to the district and are in- terested in owning your own home but can’t afford to buy on the open market, consider shared ownership as an afforda- ble option.” The council said it has com- mitted to offering a variety of affordable housing options in the district. In 2018 it launched a push to provide at least 600 new council homes by 2026. To be eligible for shared own- ership, households must be registered with the Help to Buy agent at www.helptobuyagent3. org.uk Priority for NFDC properties will be given to those with a lo- cal connection to the district. Homes will be advertised on the council’s website by search- ing ‘shared ownership’ at www. newforest.gov.uk

Lymington RNLI answered the call-out

£1 MILLION REFURBISHMENT COMPLETED Osborne Lodge is a well-established family run care home situated within walking distance of New Milton town centre, GP surgeries and community centre Welcoming and friendly atmosphere All rooms have en suite facilities Choice of all meals Long term highly qualified staff Full range of activities RESPITE & DAY CARE FOR THE ELDERLY Are you looking after a loved one at home? Do you need a few hours to yourself? Or are you living alone in need of stimulating company? Have you had a fall and need to regain your confidence? We cater for clients wanting ongoing or short-term day care, or day care that can be called upon occasionally, whenever the need arises HALF AND FULL DAY CARE AVAILABLE Including lunch and activities (full day includes evening meal) Contact tel: 01425 618248 Email: enquiries@osbornelodge.co.uk www.osbornelodgecare.co.uk

‘Unlucky’ kitesurfer rescued

A KITESURFER was rescued after becoming stranded near the entrance to the Lymington River when the wind died. The town’s RNLI answered the call-out shortly after mid- day on Saturday, with reports the kitesurfer had got into diffi - culty when the breeze dropped in fair weather, leaving them unable to reach the sea wall. The inshore lifeboat head- ed out to Oxey Lake under di- rections from HM Coastguard where they found the kitesurfer suffering from the cold. However, the casualty was well prepared for the weather

conditions, wearing a lifejacket and carrying a personal locator beacon. The person and their kit were transported back to the RNLI station. Lifeboat helm Simon Nuding said afterwards: “The casualty was one of the most prepared people I have rescued. “They were unlucky that the wind had dropped off unexpect- edly. “It is important to remem- ber the sea temperature is very cold at this time of year, and it is essential that people wear appropriate clothing if ventur- ing out.”

per calendar month. The council’s cabinet mem- ber for housing, Cllr Jill Cleary, said: “I am thrilled to offer the first homes in our shared own - ership scheme for sale. “These high quality, new properties will provide ideal family homes for local people who need affordable housing options in the district and, for many, offers an exciting oppor- The new houses in Mulberry Close, Blackfield

Colin Fagan Former president of Lymington Rowing Club was an ‘inspirational’ coach Obituary

LYMINGTON Rowing Club president Colin Fagan, who spent more than two decades with the organisation, has died aged 81. Colin, who joined the club in the early 1990s, coached both crews and individuals to suc- cess at regional, national and world levels. He was also instrumental in securing funding to enable the

club to relocate to its current facility within the town’s Lym- ington Shores development. Alongside several other mem- bers of the club, he spent many years working with local devel- opers and councils before final - ly securing the move from its former site at Nelson Place. Colin was born in Beacons- field in Buckinghamshire in 1939 and educated at Sir Wil-

liam Borlase School in Marlow, where he was introduced to rowing. He later joined the Mar- low Rowing Club and went on to become captain. He married Mary in 1963 and they had two children: Kather- ine and Nicholas. In 1979 the family moved to Pilley where Colin continued in his role as a quantity surveyor and estima- tor.

Arriving at Lymington Row- ing Club, Colin took on coach- ing crews with his unique style, using simple analogies to de- scribe complex movements in the stroke. A spokesperson for the club said: “Colin was always seen as being the senior coach and was inspirational not only with the crews he coached but also with the other coaches. “His methods and training regime soon spread through the club. This led to the club adopting a far more profession- al approach to its training and with it came success. “He was selfless, a true gen - tleman and an indispensable club member. He will be sadly missed.” Colin worked closely with an- other club member to develop a new carbon fibre boat and mould, which was then taken up by a commercial boat build- er who produced at least 30 boats from it for other clubs. Colin also had the foresight to set up an agreement with the boat builder for the club to re- ceive commission for each boat taken from the mould, which resulted in much needed funds. He also played a part in the wider rowing scene, as a long-standing member of the Wessex and South East Region- al Rowing Council. From 2005 Colin was also heavily involved in organising the South Coast Rowing Cham- pionships Regatta. The event is the finale to the rowing season

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We pride ourselves on putting you first, tailoring care to your specific needs and wishes, whilst continually promoting your independence. We offer a range of care, from short-term respite and reablement to extra care for those people who need more than their own carers can manage. Our staff have the heart and desire to provide a confident and competent service whilst also being highly trained professionals.

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for the three rowing associa- tions along the south coast and attracts up to 1,000 rowers. The Lymington Rowing Club spokesperson added: “His pas- sion for the sport was obvious and he never seemed to be hap- pier than being out on the wa- ter, regardless of the weather, with loudhailer in hand, giving instruction to a crew. “He was respected by all those who knew him. He will be missed not only for his knowl- edge and hard work but most of all for his friendship.” Due to Covid-19 restrictions, a private funeral was held on Tuesday. Donations in Colin’s memory can be made to Cancer Research through F.W House & Sons, Lymington.

C W K L O F F U S U R R E Y S L U O T E S R O D E V O N Q A Q L M X B S M P B I E V W E M K D D B F E L L Q H A I E F R Q N N L R O R E T P L H E U L L A B S A I R K R T E S X L L A L E W Y N A D S I T N E K A A T E U P Y C H S H H I S U W R U C A E T I A L H I S S H N C R P S H R O P S H I R E O R X Z S D E R B Y S H I R E H O A W A R W I C K S H I R E T C U K D A E X X K L O F R O N A F X J P H A M P S H I R E L L B F B A X A S T J P A S I E U

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15 th January 2021 answers quiz answers

1. The moon 2. Dexter 3. Rule The World 4. Sweden 5. Tiger

6. Portuguese 7. Banquo

8. Electric charge 9. Stereophonics 10. Jean-Paul Sartre

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