New Milton Park Life Spring-Summer 2018

14

coping with your loss

The one2 left behind A djusting to life on your own can be a hard transition after the death of a partner or loved one. Ordinary tasks such as walking the dog or cleaning can feel much bigger on your own, and getting back out into the community or simply rediscovering old friends can be tough. Most people who have experienced bereavement talk about the important of getting structure and normality back into their lives, as well as opportunities for no-pressure social interaction. Clubs, groups, evening classes and volunteering can all offer this structure, as well the chance to go away on holiday and get away from it all.

Closer to home Get involved

Learn a new skill If you’ve been putting off trying that French class or pottery lesson, now is as good a time as any to get stuck in. Brockenhurst College and Christchurch Adult Education Centre both offer termly courses in anything from genealogy to photography and cookery. Not only is it a good way to meet new people, but also a great distraction and way to occupy your brain during an emotionally testing time. The University of the Third Age is a voluntary organisation which aims to enable members to continue their educational, social and creative interests once retired. There are branches in Lymington, Lyndhurst, Ringwood, Fordingbridge, Milford, the Waterside, Totton and Christchurch.

Volunteer Giving back is not only rewarding in itself, but has many tangential benefits. There are a plethora of organisations needing help, from charity shops to museums to Riding for the Disabled groups. Consider how much time you have to give and what sort of role you might enjoy. Not only will signing up provide you with structure in your week, it will also boost your confidence and give you the chance to interact with other people on a regular basis. If you have an organisation in mind, approach them and explain your interest and suitability. Otherwise, Do- it.org is a website listing many local volunteering opportunities and is a good place to start.

Support groups Going through a bereavement can be hard to explain to other people. The ups and downs of the weeks, months and years after losing a loved one can be tricky to negotiate and frustrating when the inevitable initial rush of sympathy from friends and relatives dwindles. Support groups can give you the chance to express how you are feeling, get comfort from others who know what you’re going through and even make some new friends. National charities such as Cruse Bereavement Care facilitate bereavement support groups, as do local organisations like Oakhaven Hospice’s The Coates Centre, which hosts bereavement coffee mornings and widowed friendship groups.

Joining a club can be a good way to meet new people and stay occupied. There are lots of options in the New Forest and Christchurch, from the Women’s Institute to the Lions and Rotary organisations. There are also plenty of societies if you have a special interest, such as singing, art or flower arranging. Many of these clubs submit reports to the A&T ’s Clubs page, so do take a look to get a flavour of what they offer. A recent national innovation is the “Men’s Shed” movement, which helps men on their own get together, share skills and support each other. Highcliffe Community Association and Romsey Community School both host men’s sheds.

Going away After dealing with the

Practicalities You may be used to sharing the domestic

Going solo If you’re going on your own, there are now many operators offering trips specifically geared up towards single travellers. While some target those looking to meet someone new, others are simply for people looking to spend a week in the company of like-minded travellers. Alternatively, if you’re feeling adventurous, head to somewhere exotic, book yourself into a hostel and enjoy the excitement of meeting lots of other travellers. Not all backpackers are twenty- something gap year students!

Escape for a day Coach trips for a day or a long weekend can be a good way of testing the water and seeing whether you’re ready to head off on a longer holiday by yourself. Highcliffe Coach Holidays offer excursions far and wide with a reputation for taking good care of customers on their own. Choose somewhere you are genuinely interested in visiting and enjoy getting away from it all, even if only for a day.

chat and cup of tea once a week. If you’re looking for a regular cleaner, try and get a word of mouth recommendation from friends. The same applies for pet-sitting and dog walking services. If supermarket shopping feels like a chore, consider giving online grocery ordering a try. Most supermarket sites are easy to use nowadays, and once you’ve set up your order once, the items will be held in your account so reordering is simple.

emotional exhaustion of a bereavement, sometimes it can feel as though the best thing to do is get away from it all. But if you’ve been used to going away with your partner or other loved one, it can be hard to know where to start with solo travel. Take a friend See if a friend or family member would like to come away with you. Ensure they are fully aware of what you’ve been through and are prepared for the emotional ups and downs you may be experiencing.

tasks with your partner or other relative, so coping with it all on your own can feel exhausting and overwhelming, especially when you are still grieving. Don’t be afraid to admit you need help – whether it’s just a neighbour to occasionally do the shopping, hiring a cleaner or engaging the services of a dog walker. Many charities offer a ‘Good Neighbours’ service, where volunteers will help you with everyday tasks or simply come around for a