Out & About Magazine Autumn 2020

Out&About wellbeing

EDUCATION Starting school or just going back to the ‘new normal’ can cause anxiety. AMANDA BAILEY has some suggestions to calm your child’s fears

I t is common for parents and children to experience a mixture of emotions as the new school year begins. This year we will be returning to a ‘new normal’ and it is likely that we may experience ‘new worries’. During the pandemic children will have experienced lots of changes, some of which will have been difficult – such as not being able to go where they’d like to, not spending time with important friends and relatives or not being in their familiar routine. Other changes will have been positive and life-affirming, such as families reconnnecting with each other. No one can measure the full impact on children’s mental health and well-being. However, there are many ways to reduce heightened levels of anxiety and encourage a feeling of confidence, security and positivity. Be a role model – acknowledge and talk about your own feelings, normalising the fact that all feelings come and go. Be mindful – don’t share anxieties with your child about returning to school, thereby heightening or providing a catalyst for them, rather

talk to family members or friends about any worries – they may well be feeling the same as you. Be positive – talk to your child about going back to school in a happy and positive way. Reassure them how much they will have been missed and how pleased the staff will be to have them back. Remind your child of any contact with the setting, such as receiving a letter, email or postcard, speaking to their teacher on the phone or sharing an online activity. Be attuned – sometimes children can experience ‘good stress’, becoming overexcited. Label the emotion: ‘I can see you’re feeling excited, enthusiastic, positive’. It may be necessary to channel the energy, such as playing an energetic outdoor game. After you have ‘matched the energy’, provide your child with an opportunity to be calm and relax. Be prepared – share any information from your child’s setting to prepare them for the changes. Familiarise yourself with any changes beforehand, such as a new drop-off or pick-up time, a one-way system, or what your child can take into school. This will

engender confidence in your child. Be aware – there may be unexpected situations on your child’s return to school – a friend in a different class bubble or a new member of staff. Attune without judgement: ‘I can see you’re feeling worried’. When your child is fully calm, be creative together – consider helpful beliefs, behaviours and possible next steps. Be together – if you notice after an appropriate settling-in period your child is displaying signs of anxiety or worry, such as changed sleeping patterns or irritability, talk to your child’s class teacher. Any difficulties are more likely to be overcome through teachers and parents working together. Change provides a wonderful opportunity to develop resilience. Many children will soon experience the purposeful benefits of a sense of routine, security and belonging, developing their confidence, independence and interests outside the family setting.

Breathing tip For a child who finds difficulty relaxing into sleep try The “Bubble” (parent & child breathing together). • Take your child into a sitting or lying hug • Place your hands on the child’s diaphragm (under the tummy button) • With your child in your hug simultaneously take 10 deep nasal breaths into the belly • Make sure your child can feel your belly inflating at the same time as you feel your child’s belly inflating • The ‘Bubble’ activates the relaxation and calming response and provides a strong feeling of safety, relaxation and connection Depending on the number of people in the family who would benefit from this breathing technique, parents can breathe in simultaneous pairs: ‘Double Bubble’ or lie in a family.

Amanda Bailey offers a number of bespoke and group courses to help children, young people, adults and families reduce anxiety and increase calmness, visit www.beberkshire.co.uk or send an email to: amanda@beberkshire.co.uk or call/text on 07909502667

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O&A AUTUMN 2020