New Milton Advertiser - Coping With Loss 2021

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COPING WITH YOUR LOSS

COPING WITH YOUR LOSS

WHEN WORDS ARE JUST NOT ENOUGH

WHAT FLOWERS CAN SAY AT A FUNERAL

F unerals are always heartbreaking and di cult to get through. You want to say something to comfort the bereaved but this is one of those occasions when words are just not enough. Sending flowers, however, are a beautiful way to express our condolences. They are a way of paying tribute to the person we have lost and add beauty, fragrance and colour to a sombre occasion. Floral tributes are symbolic of love and sympathy and also of eternity and immortality. As well as giving comfort to the close family, ordering flowers is also therapeutic to those who send them. Taking some time choosing flowers that you know the deceased would like is a caring thing to do, it feels as if there is one - lovely - last thing you can do for them. Think about the card you send with the flowers too as these are often kept, spend a bit of time and make your message heartfelt and sincere. Florists will deliver your order to the funeral director in time to travel in the hearse to the service. There are so many beautiful flowers it can be di cult to know what blooms to choose and the type of bouquet or wreath to send. You can be traditional, lilies are always a favorite, or go for something more modern like a cheery sunflower. If the deceased had a favourite flower you could build your floral tribute around that, turning it into something that will reflect the person's personality. Or ask that the arrangement incorporates all their favorite colours. If you are a keen gardener you could make your own bouquet for a special personal touch. Flowers have a language of their own and say so much more than you might think:...

TYPES OF FLORAL ARRANGEMENTS There are a number of di erent flower arrangements often used for funerals. Some will come with the hearse while others will decorate the church or crematorium. The traditional wreath is always popular as are sprays for the co n. It is possible to have many shapes and designs so you can make it personal for your loved one. It could take the shape of a cross, a star or an angel. A floral arrangement can also reflect the deceased’s hobbies and passions, in the shape of a football or a guitar for example. Many people like to have a floral tribute spelling out the person’s name, or Grandad or Grandma for example. ANOTHER APPROACH If the deceased was a keen gardener and had a favourite plant, perhaps roses, orchids or carnations, it might be nice to order a number of single stems and pass them to each mourner as they stand around the grave. When the service is over they can either drop them onto the casket – or you might prefer that they take them home in remembrance. Flowers left at the grave after the funeral do look nice and o er comfort to families and friends who visit in the days immediately after. However, it can feel sad to walk away and leave a beautiful display of flowers after a cremation. You could take a di erent approach. Tell the mourners not to send flowers. Instead you could order posies and then present them to relatives and friends at the end of the service. It will give then something lovely to take home in remembrance of the deceased and the day. FAMILY FLOWERS ONLY, DONATIONS WELCOME It has become quite common for the family of the deceased to ask for donations to a favourite or relevant charity rather than sending flowers. They feel that the money would be better used for research, perhaps into the illness that took their loved one. The funeral director can look after the donations for you and forward them to the relevant charity in the deceased’s name. If you feel you would like to do both, you could send flowers to the bereaved in the weeks after the funeral and let them know they remain in your thoughts.

LILIES Lilies are perhaps the flower most commonly associated with funerals. They symbolize the innocence that has been restored to the soul of the departed.

GLADIOLI Gladioli are typically used in fan sprays, which are classic and elegant arrangements for traditional funeral services. Available in a wide range of colours, the gladioli embodies strength of character, sincerity and moral integrity.

CARNATIONS Carnations are another popular choice and di erent colours symbolize di erent things. Red carnations evoke admiration, pink carnations stand for remembrance while white carnations stand for pure love and innocence. They also have an advantage as they tend to last a long time.

CHRYSANTHEMUMS

Chrysanthemums are frequently included in arrangements for funeral services. In some European countries, such as France, Italy, Spain, Poland, Hungary and Croatia, chrysanthemums are symbolic of death and are only used for funerals or on graves. In China, Japan and Korea, white chrysanthemums are symbolic of lamentation and grief.

ROSES Always popular, roses are often part of funeral flower arrangements. The di erent colours again have di erent meanings; white roses evoke reverence, humility and innocence, red roses convey respect, love, and courage. Pink roses signify love, grace, appreciation and gentility while deep crimson roses represent grief and sorrow. Yellow roses are given by friends of the deceased to symbolize their

ORCHIDS

Giving an orchid plant as a gesture of sympathy speaks of everlasting love.

strong ties. A single rose expresses enduring love for the deceased.