New Milton Advertiser - Coping With Loss 2021

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COPING WITH YOUR LOSS

Tapper Funeral Service

F or decades they have been carrying out one of the most important roles in our community – providing care, advice, and a shoulder to cry on at one of the most emotional times in people’s lives.

occasion felt more relaxed and intimate.”

“That is very much part of what we o er here, a very personal service. If a client asks for something specific, then as long as it is safe and allowable, we will ensure that it is carried out. “Technology has also enabled us to achieve much more too. Advanced media systems accommodate for whatever music or visual tributes clients choose. “As a great fan of music, I’m always interested in what my clients select. Music is so much about who a person is. We have had all sorts from classical to rock and roll, to TV and movie theme tunes. “One time we even had a whole sketch from the person’s favourite comedy show. “Having screens at the service enables photos to be shown, while streaming services over the internet has been brilliant, especially during the pandemic, for allowing people to ‘attend’ a funeral when they are unable to do so, in person.” Covid-19 restrictions have bought many di culties for funeral directors across the UK, but Julian said his firm has worked hard to ensure that they have still delivered as good a service as normal. One thing, he highlighted, during these challenging times, is that the smaller and more intimate services have, in some cases, resulted in an enhanced, positive experience. Julian said: “I think it was a surprise for some families that having a smaller congregation and less formality meant that the

Colin Hayley and Tapper Funeral Service are proud of everything they have provided and continue to deliver for bereaved families in their time of need. As Julian Hayley, whose father, Colin, helped set up the original business, says: “We feel very honoured and privileged to be chosen by families to help them at what is a very di cult time.” Colin Hayley & Tapper Funeral Service, an independent, family- owned firm, still operates from its original o ces at 51-53 Old Milton Road, New Milton, and Julian has been working in the funeral profession since the age of 15 years. Over his long career he has seen many changes. He said: “Certainly in my father’s early days, when someone died the family called the local funeral director. “They were then asked if they wanted a church or crematorium service, and that, apart from choosing a few hymns and prayers, was really all the input they had. “Things were very traditional then and it was just the way it was done.” Colin Hayley and Tapper pride themselves on working closely with families to ensure the funeral is very much what they desire and request; more importantly, what the deceased would have wanted. Julian, whose wife Sue works alongside him, says: “I think people now expect a lot more input into and control of how a funeral is conducted. They are more confident in saying what they do and do not want.

An opportunity to have similar services, reducing the cost of conventional funerals, yet allowing for a greater personal service, will soon be available at Colin Hayley & Tapper Funeral Service with the New Milton Ceremony Hall – specially designed and constructed to the highest standard to the rear of the o ce premises. The ceremony hall will enable a funeral to take place completely within their premises with the whole event fully tailored to a client’s wishes. Julian said: “It will mean that we can o er a really individual experience. For example, a loved one’s co n can be carefully set up in the hall ready for when mourners arrive, or be carried in the traditional way, by bearers. “Mourners will be able to relax as they will be able to take their time; unlike municipal crematoria where there are tight time slots – often referred to by many as ‘a conveyor belt system’. “Requests for a funeral to take place in an evening, or the weekend will also be an option. “You can still have all the traditional elements, such as funeral cars and a hearse, as additional items. “We will be able to accommodate, seated, between 45-50 people and there will be an outside area where mourners can congregate. “A large screen on the wall can show slideshows or allow for someone to present a eulogy – even from another country. “Well-behaved pets will be able to attend too, and we can serve a toast during the service with drink provided beforehand, by the family. Champagne chilled ready for the moment. We can also serve tea and co ee.” “Our Ceremony Hall is scheduled to be completed in August. Our Christchurch branch has “There is a kitchenette too. For example, we can keep

“One time we even had a whole sketch from the person’s favourite comedy show.”

provided a Ceremony Hall option for two-and-a-half years now – it’s been a huge success. “The Ceremony Hall will o er a unique way for people to be able to say their goodbyes to loved ones.” Julian added: “At the end of the service mourners will leave the hall, their loved one will be respectfully and gently transferred to our own crematorium at Harbour View Woodland Burial Ground in Lytchett Minster, near Poole, for the cremation. “Alternatively, if families would like to have a service at Harbour View (three ceremony halls), a municipal crematorium, or at a church if it is to be a burial, then that can also be arranged.” Like all the funerals that Colin Hayley and Tapper arrange, the company’s involvement with

clients does not just end on the day.

It o ers Outlook Bereavement Support free of charge, arranging get-togethers and events for the bereaved, including lunches and afternoon teas. Julian said: “It is something we are very proud of. It takes place about once a month. People come along and meet others who are going through what they are, or a little further down the road. “Grieving is a slow process, and this gives them a way of finding support. Sadly, it has not been able to take place during the pandemic, but I cannot wait for it to start again.”