Funeral Guide 2020

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APRIL 2021

FUNERAL PLANNING AN ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO

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FIRST THINGS FIRST A GUIDE ON WHAT TO DO IN THE EARLY DAYS

INWHAT is no doubt one of the most stressful periods of your life, there are many decisions and arrangements that need taking and making. Often it is so hard to focus on these in such a difficult time of grief, and drafting in the help of close friends and relatives can relieve some of the burden. Other matters will need to be looked at by the executor or administrator of the estate. To help guide you over this tricky ground, we have provided a checklist of the areas that need to be dealt with first. Documents needed It can be very helpful to have to hand the following information about the deceased, which will make things simpler when dealing with the necessary documents. n National Insurance number n NHS number n Date and place of birth n Date of marriage or civil partnership (if appropriate)

n Any company with which the deceased may have had rental, hire purchase or loan agreements n Pension providers and life insurance companies n Banks and building societies n Mortgage provider n Credit cards and store cards n Landlord or local authority if they rented a property n Any private organisation/ authority providing home help n Utility companies if accounts were in the deceased’s name n Royal Mail, if mail needs redirecting n TV/internet companies with which the deceased had subscriptions n Bereavement Register and Deceased Preference Service to remove the deceased’s name from mailing lists and databases n Clubs, trade unions, associations with seasonal membership for cancellation and refunds n Church/regular place of worship n Social groups to which the deceased belonged n Dentist n Creditors – anyone to whom the deceased owed money n Debtors – anyone who owed the deceased money This does not claim to cover every possible contact, but can be a helpful place to start. More detailed information and

Who to inform You will need to inform people who are close to the deceased and, in many cases, to close down accounts, cancel or change insurance details, subscriptions, agreements, payments or direct debits. The list below should help you to keep track, just cross through the ones that don’t apply. n Relatives and friends n Employer n School contributions office if the deceased was self-employed (to cancel payments) n Child benefit office (at latest within eight weeks) n Local authority, if they paid council tax, had a parking permit, were issued with a Blue Badge for disabled parking, received social services help, attended day care or similar n UK Identity and Passport Service to return and cancel a passport n DVLA to return any driving licence, cancel car tax or return car registration documents/ change ownership n General insurance companies – house, contents, car, travel, medical, etc. If the deceased was the first named on an insurance policy, make contact as early as possible to check that others named are still insured n Solicitor/accountant n Relevant tax office n National Insurance

n Child benefit number n Tax reference number The first tasks n Notify the family doctor n Register the death at the register office n Find the will, as this may

have specific requests about the funeral. The deceased’s solicitor may have a copy if you cannot find the original n If the deceased was receiving benefits or tax credits, advise the offices making the payments. The will If there is a will, contact the executor (if this isn’t you) to enable them to start the process of obtaining probate. If there is no will, decide who will sort out the deceased’s affairs and contact the Probate Registry to apply for letters of administration

advice about how to make contact with some of the agencies mentioned can be found at www.gov.uk/browse/births- deaths-marriages/death Published by Newbury News Ltd, Newspaper House, Faraday Road, Newbury, Berkshire RG14 2AD

THE ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO FUNERAL PLANNING

WELCOME to the 2021 edition of The Essential Guide to Funeral Planning. This guide has brought together information that we hope will be both interesting and of practical use at a very sensitive time. It offers a handy reference to local businesses whose services you might require and it also aims to offer advice and pointers on where to go for help and how to deal with the

There is information on what to do in the first few days, as well help on how to go about organising and catering for a funeral, selecting a memorial and what to do about flowers. Areas such as clearing the house and donating goods and leaving money to charity are also included, as are the emotional aspects of bereavement. A full contact list of all the organisations and agencies that can help in these difficult days is also included.

difficult issues we will all be faced with sooner or later – the loss of loved ones and how to cope with it.

CONTENTS 2

KEPT ASSETS LIMITED THE WATERMILL THEATRE A GUIDE ON WHAT TO DO IN THE EARLY DAYS

20-21 WEST BERKSHIRE FUNERAL DIRECTORS 22 THE MEANING OF FLOWERS BEST BUDS FLORIST SUMO FLOWERS 23 WILLOW & BLOOMS 24 DONNINGTON GROVE COUNTRY CLUB 25 HELP WITH DEATH ABROAD 26 BOOKS TO HELP YOU TALK ABOUT BEREAVEMENT AND DEATH 27 HUMPHRIES STONEMASONS NEWBURY RECLAIM 28 ROYAL BRITISH LEGION

3 4

5 6

CONTENTS

ACORN RIDGE BUTTERCUPS & DAISIES

7 8 9

HOWE & SON FUNERAL DIRECTORS

KNOWING YOUR BENEFITS

SIMON HODKIN - HUMANIST CEREMONIES CHOOSE YOUR FUNERAL SHEEPDROVE BURIAL WOOD COMMUNITY FURNITURE PROJECT PGH MEMORIALS

10 11 12

MIND TREE THERAPY TRINITY WILL WRITERS

29 30 31

WHO TO CONTACT

NEWBURY RACECOURSE

WHO’S WHO AFTER DEATH THE FURZE BUSH INN

NEWBURY & THATCHAM FUNERAL DIRECTORS

14 15 16

CHOOSING A COFFIN

32-33 ARRANGING A FUNERAL 34 MAKING YOUR WILL 35 GOOD WILLS LTD SAS

RC SMALLBONE

WEST BERKSHIRE LEAGUE OF FRIENDS NEWBURY CANCER CARE

L TITCOMBE & FAMILY CLASSIC CREMATIONS LETTER OF CONDOLENCE

MAD HATTER FLORAL DESIGNS

36-37 ASH BROOK 38 AB WALKER 39 40 AB WALKER

ORGAN DONATION PRECISION DENTAL CHEQUERS HOTEL

THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND

BUTTERCUPS & DAISIES

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PLANNING YOUR FUNERAL HOWE & SON offer advice on pre-paid funeral arrangements

Peace of mind for you and your family with a pre-paid, inflation- proof funeral plan. Thinking about your own funeral is never an easy thing to do, but by planning ahead you can spare the people you love difficult decisions at a painful time. With average funeral costs soaring well above the rate of inflation, it makes strong financial sense to consider a pre-paid funeral plan. The cost is guaranteed at today’s prices and is inflation-proof, protecting you and your loved ones from rising costs. It is not just about meeting the cost of a funeral, but about the decision-making process too - whether you’d prefer flowers or charity donations on your behalf, the type of music you want played, choice of

coffin and transportation, the type of service and where it is to be held. You can specify every aspect of the day according to your budget, so you can plan a unique tribute to a unique life, yours. Howe & Son Funeral Directors pride themselves on giving the best end of life care, support and experience with a compassionate and ethical approach and

recognise that making funeral arrangements in advance, involves making many important decisions. Our experienced colleagues will guide you through all the different options to provide a personalised free no-obligation quotation for you to discuss with your loved ones in your own time.

To find out more, call us on 01635 298303 or visit howeandson.co.uk

Here for you when you need us... • 24 hour service • Free bereavement advice and support • Pre-paid inflation proof funeral plans • Wide choice of memorials for burials

Kingsclere z 01635 298303 Bear Hill, Newbury, RG20 5QA

howeandson.co.uk

KNOWING YOUR BENEFITS IFYOU’RE on a low income and need help to pay for a funeral, you may be able to claim for a Funeral Expenses Payment. Who is eligible? You could get a Funeral after 24 weeks of pregnancy, the parent or person responsible for a deceased child who was under 16 (or under 20 and in approved education or training).

Pension age, you’re entitled to Child Benefit for at least one child and your late husband, wife or civil partner was their parent, your late husband, wife or civil partner paid National Insurance contributions, or they died as a result of an industrial accident or disease You may also claim WPA if you’re pregnant and your husband has died, or you’re pregnant after fertility treatment and your civil partner has died. Bereavement payment, bereavement allowance and widowed parent’s allowance are available in England, Scotland and Wales only. Tell Us Once Tell Us Once is a service that lets you report a death to most government organisations in one go. When you register the death the registrar will let you know if the service is available in your area, give you the phone number, give you a unique reference number to use the Tell Us Once service online or by phone Details about all the benefits and advice available can be found on www.direct.gov.uk

Bereavement payment You may get Bereavement Allowance if all the following apply: your husband, wife or civil partner died before 6 April 2017, you were 45 or over when your husband, wife or civil partner died, you’re under State Pension age, your late husband, wife or civil partner paid National Insurance contributions, or they died as a result of an industrial accident or disease. You can get Bereavement Allowance for up to 52 weeks from the date your husband, wife or civil partner died. The amount you get depends on the overall level of your husband, wife or civil partner’s National Insurance contributions and your age at the time of their death Widowed parent’s allowance You may get Widowed Parent’s Allowance (WPA) if all the following apply: your husband, wife or civil partner died before April 6, 2017, you’re under State

Expenses Payment (also called a Funeral Payment) if you get certain benefits and need help to pay for a funeral you’re arranging. Benefits and tax credits You must get one or more of the following: Income Support, income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance, income-related Employment and Support Allowance, Pension Credit, Housing Benefit, the disability or severe disability element of Working Tax Credit, Child Tax Credit, Universal Credit. You can still claim Funeral Expenses Payment if you’ve applied for these benefits and you’re waiting to hear about your claim. Relationship with the deceased You must be one of the following: the partner of the deceased when they died, a close relative or close friend of the deceased, the parent of a baby stillborn

CELEBRATING A LIFE Advertisement

SIMON’S wife died ten years ago this year. At her humanist funeral he said to the celebrant: “I could see myself doing this one day”. His day job was as an IT consultant for more than 30 years. In the interim years, he also worked as a voluntary bereavement counsellor at a local hospice and as a Humanist pastoral carer, supporting people nearing the end of their lives. He retrained as a Humanist Funerals celebrant in 2019. Now semi-retired, with very good availability, he still enjoys meeting people, learning about the times they shared with their loved ones and helping them to truly cele- brate a life well lived.

His funerals have included many natural burials, ashes interments and memorial services as well as cremations. “It’s all about celebrating the life of the deceased in a memorable and dignified manner, while seamlessly integrating with the quality service delivered by the funeral director” he says. You don’t have to be a Humanist to have a humanist funeral. They are for anyone who believes that we don’t need organised religion to lead a good and valued life. “It was a lovely tribute you paid to dad, it was as if you knew him….” “You were able to bring the right level of gravitas and humour to the ceremony which put us and all our friends and relatives at ease.”

If you simply want to celebrate the life of the deceased without organised religion, I am a Humanist Funerals Celebrant covering West Berkshire, Oxfordshire, Wiltshire and Hampshire

Contact Simon on 01488 649564 or visit humanist.org.uk/simonhodkin

CHOOSE YOURFUNERAL THERE are many choices of funeral, however, and no legal requirements for the form a funeral service takes. If you feel strongly about details and style of your own funeral A non-religious funeral If you want a non-religious

Hospitals and crematoria can be very helpful and there is plenty of advice on www.naturaldeath.org. uk which publishes a resource list for DIY burials. Or contact the Cemeteries and Crematorium Department of your local authority for advice and guidance. Burial at sea There are only three places where sea burials are permitted: Newhaven, the Needles Spoil Ground, to the West of the Isle of Wight and off Tynemouth, North Tyneside. When you register the death, you should tell the registrar that you are planning a sea burial and obtain a Coroner’s Out of England Form. The free licence must be obtained from the Marine Management Organisation.

funeral, then the British Humanist Association can put you in touch with a local secular officient. Its website www.humanism.org.uk also has a searchable database of officiants (by postcode) that you might want to use. A woodland burial It is possible to choose a woodland burial site rather than a cemetery or crematorium. A wicker or cardboard coffin, or even a shroud is used and the plot is marked by a tree or plant to preserve the natural surroundings. An independent funeral It is possible to handle all or some aspects of a funeral without involving a funeral director.

service you can leave instructions for your family or friends detailing your wishes or discuss it with them so they are clear what you would like. Traditional funeral The majority of people choose a religious form of ceremony which follows their cultural traditions. The format is clearly laid out in service books at the crematorium or place of worship. There are two parts to the funeral, the service in the place of worship followed by committal at the crematorium or cemetery.

Sheepdrove Burial Wood A Place of Shelter, Peace and Tranquillity

S heepdrove Burial Wood sits high on the windswept chalk downland at the cross roads of four drovers’ ridgeways. This ancient and hallowed landscape is part of the North Wessex Downs Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty. The paths through the woodland are perfect for a peaceful stroll, while the network of ridgeways that converges at the gate to the burial wood affords a more bracing ramble indeed. The Ridgeway itself, Britain’s oldest road, an ancient track, which extends from Wiltshire along the ridge of the Berkshire Downs to the River Thames at Goring Gap, is within walkable distance along one of these drover’s waysides. The burial ground itself is a broad leaf deciduous woodland sheltered by mature hedgerows of hawthorn, blackthorn and briar rose. A tapestry of native wildflowers – cowslips, wild orchids, oxeye daisies, red campion, lady’s bedstraw and devil’s bit scabious – flourish under the trees, providing sustenance and shelter for bees and other pollinators throughout spring and summer.

It is a beautiful place to spend eternity. The wood is surrounded by the two thousand acres of green pastures, wildflower meadows, ancient woodland and fields of heritage grains that make up Sheepdrove Organic Farm. Visitors to the burial ground are welcome to come and go as they please all year round – there are no restrictions. A natural burial embraces all faiths, or no faith at all, allowing mourners perfect freedom to acknowledge and celebrate loved ones exactly as they wish. Bodies are committed to the land with minimal disturbance to the natural environment and with no lasting impact. Sheepdrove welcomes everybody; we embrace all faiths and no faith, any type of ceremony or no ceremony – the choice is yours. Sheepdrove’s Natural Burial Wood allows both full burial and ashes interment in an undisturbed final resting place. Family and friends are very welcome to gather both before or after the burial at Sheepdrove’s sustainable green events venue on the farm where both intimate or larger celebrations of life and wakes can be accommodated.

SHEEPDROVE ORGANIC FARM LAMBOURN, BERKSHIRE, RG17 7UU 01488 674747 info@sheepdrove.com

Donate to us, volunteer with us or buy from us Telephone 01635 43933 enquiries@cfpnewbury.org www.n-c-r-c.org

Do you need a house cleared? Would you like your loved one’s furniture and household items to go to a good cause? The Community Furniture Project (CFP) offers an efficient, professional and sympathetic house clearance service. Our teams understand that customers may be looking to have a house cleared at a difficult and stressful time, and are respectful of all wishes. Items collected by CFP are recycled, reused or upcycled where possible. By doing this we help to protect the environment by maximizing the life of household products. We also offer volunteering and training opportunities for adults with disabilities and provide affordable furniture and appliances for people on lower incomes.

Newbury Community Resource Centre. Registered Charity no. 1082243. Operators of the Community Furniture Project (Newbury), the Community Furniture Project (Basingstoke), the Training & Community Support Centre, Growing 2gether and the RENEWAL Project.

P.G.H MEMORIALS NEWBURY Dedicated Monumental Mason with over 40 years of experience New Memorials + Cremation Memorials, Plaques + Hand Carved Lettering, Renovations V isit our showroom in Headley by appointment only 01635 268888 Brochure available on request Email; pgh_memorials@hotmail.co.uk www.pgh-memorials.co.uk Riddings Farm, Goose Hill, Headley, Nr .Newbury, RG19 8AU

WHO’S WHO AFTER DEATH

Administrator Legal represent- ative of a deceased person who has died without a will or who has died with a will but where there are no executors able or willing to act Asset Holder Anyone who holds money or property on behalf of the deceased eg a bank Beneficiary Someone who will inherit from the will Celebrant Officiates at the funer- al. May be religious e.g. may be a faith leader, a humanist (secular) or civil (may include some reli- gious content) Coroner The independent judicial officer who investigates unnatural and unexplained deaths Counsellor A qualified person who provides emotional therapy to others Embalmer Works for a funeral director to care for bodies Executor appointed by a will to

administer the estate Funeral director/undertaker Takes responsibility for arranging and conducting funerals Lawyer ie solicitor, legal exec- utive and barrister. Qualified professionals specialising in legal matters. Solicitors and legal executives are both able to assist in writing wills and in dealing with the administration of estates of deceased persons. Barristers represent clients in court Medical Examiner A senior inde- pendent doctor who is responsi- ble for checking that the Medical Certificate of Cause of Death, is accurate. Medical Examiner’s Officer Assists Medical Examiner. Pathologist Specialist doctor who diagnoses disease through the examination of body tissues and fluids ersonal representative Probate Registry Issues a Grant

of Representation to the personal representatives of a deceased person, giving them the formal legal authority to deal with the estate Power of Attorney Formal deed by which one person appoints an- other to act on his or her behalf or represent them, usually in respect of conducting financial affairs. The deed ceases to have effect on the appointer’s death Registrar Registrar of Birth and Deaths. Employed by local authorities to receive informa- tion on deaths and issue death certificates Verifier of death Person who confirms that death has occurred. The point at which they do this is usually taken as the official time of death. May be a doctor or in some circumstances may be a nurse or an ambulance paramedic

THE FURZE BUSH INN

Whilst funerals are necessarily sad affairs, they are often a rare opportunity for distant family and friends to meet each other. We are aware of the brevity necessary in making arrangements, so we can offer a simple finger buffet of sandwiches and sausage rolls , at very short notice. Naturally we will be pleased to cater for any more substantial fare that you may require.

Hatt Common, Ball Hill, Newbury. RG20 0NQ Tel. 01635 253228 E Mail info@furzebushinn.co.uk

CHOOSING A COFFIN

THERE are now many different types of eco-coffins, which can be obtained via your funeral director or in some cases directly from the manufacturer. Examples include: Wicker and woven coffins A popular choice as funerals become less traditional. The recent popularity of willow coffins has provided an essential source of business for a craft that is otherwise threatened by cheap foreign imports. Other materials that can be used are bamboo, pandanus, seagrass, banana leaf and water hyacinth. Cardboard coffins Demand for ‘greener’ and less wasteful funerals has increased dramatically. This is a strong, sturdy but lightweight coffin, which has been developed to meet the needs of those who require an environmentally-friendly and biodegradeable coffin. Cardboard coffins are easily personalised and come in variety of designs and colours. You could even decorate it yourself with old birthday cards and photos. Recycled materials The Sunset coffin (pulp board) is made from board which is 100-per-cent recycled newsprint, using biodegradable pigments and binders. All offcuts go back for further recycling. This gives the coffin its unique tactile feel, but it needs to be seen and touched to be fully appreciated. Because the board is paper- based it can be decorated by family and friends to add that personal touch.

used is the ‘Leafcocoon’. A woollen shroud is safely strapped to a strong wood-framed base, and enfolded in many layers of thick felt, giving the cocoon a smooth outline. The inbuilt base and handles take all the weight and so the whole Leafcocoon is buried. Top cover design options can be a native tree of your choice, the most polular being oak, willow, ash, birch and rowan. ...and for cremated remains Sustainable ARKA Acorn Urn The Acorn Urn is made from recycled paper. It is subtle and simple and fully biodegradable, so the ashes can be buried. Ceramic memorial urns This urn design provides a lasting memorial or an appropriate vessel until such time that you or your family are ready to let them go. Tastefully designed to blend in with your home, the urns can also carry an inscription of your choice.

Woollen and cotton coffins These are made in Yorkshire from a combination of pure new Dorest Horn sheep wool and organic cottons, over a cardboard frame, hemmed with blanket stitch. They are fully biodegradable and offer a soft and gentle alternative to the more traditional materials available. Sustainable wooden coffins Coffins made out of sustainably- sourced timber are also accepted, especially if finished in bees wax or natural oils. These should be available from your local funeral director. Jute coffins and jute shrouds These are made by mixing plant fibres with natural starch and then compressing it to create a strong, Paste on photographs, colourful tissue paper, petals, card models, a collection of Valentine cards, poetry... the only restriction is your imagination. Shrouds Bellacouche produces felt shrouds and the most commonly biodegradable coffin. Decorate your coffin Ideas for decoration...

R C Smallbone Ltd Independent Funeral Directors

Why choose R C Smallbone? We are part of the community and offer a traditional, friendly approach. We take the greatest care when arranging every aspect of a funeral to ensure you receive the standards you expect and deserve. As a member of the trade body for independent funeral directors we follow an industry leading code of practice and are regularly inspected. We offer an array of funeral options all clearly outlined from the very beginning so you can choose what is right for you. We take time to get to know you and provide support to anyone who walks through our door. We will do everything we can to ensure the wishes of your loved ones are fulfilled. As an independent firm with community at its heart, we recognise that cost is a big concern for many families. As a result, our prices are very competitive and often lower than larger funeral organisations. The full cost of a funeral will be clearly explained upfront. As a member of SAIF we offer a simple funeral option for families on a low income. This maintains the high standards and dignity you would expect from a

funeral but at a lower price. We can also help with arranging payment options. As part of our commitment to caring for bereaved families, we have teamed up with the National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF) to offer further support and advice to people experiencing grief. As a member of the trade association, SAIF Care allows us to provide our clients with exclusive access to a free bereavement care helpline and an online chat service, both of which are staffed by trained bereavement specialists. The SAIF Care team is there to offer a listening ear and give reliable information about a range of help and services available near you. Each person’s bereavement journey is unique and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. If you feel that you are struggling following the death of someone close, please contact us and we will be able to assist in getting you the support you need. For further details about this service please contact us or call SAIF Care on 0800 917 7224.

A funeral plan from your local independent funeral director from £3,825 R.C. SMALLBONE

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Ask for more information today R.C. Smallbone, Starwood House, 37 Pound Street, Newbury RG14 6AE.

Call 01635 40536 info@rcsmallbone.co.uk www.rcsmallbone.co.uk

yourfuneraldirectors.co.uk The UK’s largest independent funeral plan provider

WBCH - LEAGUE OF FRIENDS

MAKE A LASTING IMPACT WITH A GIFT IN YOUR WILL TO WEST BERKSHIRE COMMUNITY HOSPITAL LEAGUE OF FRIENDS

When writing and preparing your will you have the opportunity, after

taking care of fami- ly to leave a lasting legacy to charities close to your heart. A gift in your will no matter how big or small can and does make a significant difference. Your local hospital League of Friends uses such donations to provide medical equipment in all departments, enabling local people to benefit from not having to travel to other hospitals. Every penny raised goes straight back into the community hospital, please consider helping us to continue supporting your local community hospital, thank you. Email wbchlof@gmail.com

For details contact: STUART STEPHENS

Registered Charity Number: 246183 Email: wbchlof@gmail.com or visit our Facebook page: West Berkshire Community Hospital League of Friends

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LETTER OF CONDOLENCE A SENSITIVE letter following a bereavement can bring great solace. The most difficult letters to write are those when the death involves a younger person or a sudden death such as a car accident or suicide. Younger people tend to add their thoughts about the deceased onto social networking sites, but a condolence letter or card is something which can be re-read many times and treasured. Start off to say how sorry you are to hear of the death of the person and mention then by name. Say that you are thinking of them and the family at this difficult time. Depending on how well you knew them, it is good to note any special qualities that the person may have had. It is nice to include a good or happy memory you have of that person that the person you are writing to can add to their own treasured memories and have a smile about. Offer help if practical - to drop a meal around, do some shopping or help with arrangements for the funeral - but not the ‘ring me if I can help’ type of offer. Beware of adding poems or inspirational quotes to your letter. Only send something if you know the person well and you feel the words will offer genuine comfort.

We are a family business with over 30 years of experience. Classic Cremations believe that you can honour your loved one with a simple, stress free goodbye without the financial worry, giving you the freedom to grieve without sleepless nights. £995.00 Direct Cremation £1395.00 Direct Cremation with Home-Visit

For further information visit www.classiccremations.co.uk or call 07919888999

L TITCOMBE & FAMILY Independent Funeral Directors Personal, respectful and attentive service

8 Swan Street, Kingsclere, Newbury, RG20 5PJ. Tel: 01635 299900 4 Elmwood Parade, Basingstoke, RG23 8LL. Tel: 01256 476366 www.tmfunerals.co.uk It is usual for people to be unsure of what to do in the immediate aftermath of a bereavement. We will help guide you through the initial steps and provide advice on other matters of importance you may need to think about when someone you know dies. We are here when you need us most 24 hours a day All aspects of Funeral Arrangements undertaken

FROM May 20, 2020, all adults in England will be considered an organ donor when they die unless they had recorded a decision not to donate or are in one of the excluded groups. Even if the deceased did not opt out before they die, their family would always be involved before donation takes place. So it is really important that people choose whether they want to be a donor and discuss what they want to happen with their family. That means the deceased’s decision is clear and the family can have peace of mind know that the decision is being honoured. Your faith and beliefs will also always be taken into consideration before organ donation goes ahead. Funeral arrangements will not be affected by organ donation. ORGAN DONATION

DENTURE REPAIRS

Rivermead Thatcham

Berkshire RG19 4EP Tel: (01635) 294200 www.precisiondentalstudio.co.uk Company Registration No 3824228

For more information visit www.organdonation.nhs.uk/

To advertise in the next edition of our bereavement supplement, or on our announcements page in the Newbury Weekly News please contact: Sales Team salesreps@newburynews.co.uk Tele: 01635 886643 FUNERAL PLANNING AN ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO

Celebrations of life to meet all of your loved ones wishes. 4 Star Newbury Town CentreVenue. Bespoke Planning and Catering Services. Off Street Parking. 6-8 Oxford St.

Newbury Berkshire RG14 1JB

Enquire at events@chequershotelnewbury.co.uk reservations@chequershotelnewbury.co.uk or call on 01635 38000

A FUNERAL TO FIT YOUR BUDGET

WEST Berkshire Funeral Directors are celebrating 11 years as an Independent Funeral Director. Peter Cox, having been in the funeral business for more than 42 years now, decided to start his own business based at Clarendon House in London Road Newbury 11 years ago. The main intention was to provide families with complete freedom of choice, giving them a service how they want it, reflecting the character for their loved one and keeping with their budget. Keeping costs down is paramount, but not at the cost of losing quality of service, this is where West Berkshire Funeral Directors come in to their own. We can provide a very simple direct cremation with no service, this is often chosen when people

do not want a formal funeral, but would rather have the cremation carried out, possibly followed by a Memorial Service at a later date, or just a family gathering to celebrate the life. For those want to attend and have a service, we can provide a very simple, but dignified, service

at the crematorium, without all the frills and expense, but still providing a quality service they can remember at low cost. Of course, we can provide all the traditional aspects too, hearse, limousines, horse-drawn hearse, specialist vehicles for those families that do want. It is our aim to provide families with the service they require, without the restrictions often imposed by the larger corporate funeral directors. We have our own hearse & matching limousine, a classic Daimler hearse, vintage hand bier and we have just acquired a classic Rolls Royce hearse which will be available soon.

Keeping costs down is paramount, but not at the cost of losing quality of service

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Clarendon House 44 London Road Newbury Berkshire RG14 1LA Your Local & Independent Funeral Directors & Monumental Masons We are proud to provide a quality service with an exceptionally high standard of care. We are totally dedicated to providing families with personal attention and freedom of choice. Peter Cox has RYHU 40 years of

experience caring for families and looking after their needs during the difficult time of arranging a funeral, choosing a prepaid funeral plan and designing memorials for a lasting tribute Available 24 hours a day 7 days a week for free & impartial advice, without obligation … T el : 01635 43355

Email: peter@rememberthelittlethings.com ail: peter@wbfd.co.uk

Web : www.wbfd.co.uk

We remember the little things…

‘‘There is no substitute for personal care & service’’

Funeral Planner of the Year 2015 & 2016

THE SYMBOLIC MEANING OF FUNERAL FLOWERS

Lilies The lily is the flower most commonly associated with funeral services as they symbolise the innocence that has been restored to the soul of the departed. The white lily expresses majesty and purity, whereas white stargazer lilies specifically symbolise sympathy.

Gladioli Gladioli have a tall stem composed of multiple flowers that can measure up to four feet tall. They are typically used in fan sprays, which are classic and elegant arrangements. The gladiolus embodies strength of character, sincerity, and moral integrity. They are available in a range of colours, including white, pink, red, purple, yellow, orange, salmon, and green.

THE type of flowers you choose can express specific sentiments. The traditional language of flowers provides a way to convey your feelings and send a meaningful message. The gift of a plant is often an ideal choice, as they provide a long-lasting tribute to the loved one lost, as well as a constant reminder of the friendship and affection you wish to support the bereaved through the grieving process.

Tel: 01635 33227

Sumo Flowers, your local leading florist established for over 30 years. A family run business that pride our self’s on delivering quality service to all of our customers. We offer a home visit service for those sad and difficult �mes. We don’t believe in going that extra mile, we believe in comple�ng the journey with you.

Convey your condolences with our exquisite funeral flowers We understand how important it is to celebrate the life of your loved ones. That’s why we offer customised funeral flower arrangement services to suit your specific needs. • Wreaths • Sprays and Sympathy flowers • Graveside flowers • Floral tributes •

www.bestbudsfloristthatcham.co.uk email: bestbudflorist@gmail.com From funeral wreaths to casket tributes, call Amanda on 01635 864287 for help choosing the perfect tribute.

www.sumoflowers.co.uk Email: shop@sumoflowers.co.uk 28 Maple Cresent Newbury RG14 1LL

Carnations Long-lasting and fragrant, carnations are a popular choice for sympathy arrangements. The red carnation evokes admiration while a pink carnation stands for remembrance. White carnations stand for pure love and innocence.

Chrysanthemums Chrysanthemums are frequently included in arrangements for funeral services. In some European countries, such as France, Italy, Spain, Poland, Hungary and Croatia, chrysanthemums are symbolic of death and are only used for funerals or on graves. In China, Japan and Korea, white chrysanthemums are symbolic of lamentation and grief.

Roses As one of the most recognisable flowers, roses can be a beautiful part of an arrangement of funeral flowers. White roses evoke reverence, humility, innocence, and youthfulness. Red roses convey respect, love, and courage. Pink roses signify love, grace, appreciation and gentility. Dark crimson roses denote grief and sorrow. Yellow roses are given by friends of the deceased to symbolise their strong ties. When you include a single rose in a bouquet it expresses enduring love for the deceased.

At Willow & Blooms we understand that flowers are a simple and beautiful way of creating a heartfelt personal tribute for a loved one. Whether you are looking for an elegant, traditional or bespoke floral tribute our professional and experienced team will take great care helping you choose a special design.

Willow & Blooms 36 Bartholomew Street, Newbury, Berkshire, RG14 5LL Telephone: 01635 528900

Email: sales@willowandblooms.co.uk

www.willowandblooms.co.uk

Donnington Grove is a very special 18th Century Manor in 500 acres of beautiful Berkshire countryside Our friendly and professional team will cater for all your requirements. Perfect for small events and even up to 200 guests. Call in or contact us events@donnington-grove.com T: 01635 581000 www.donnington-grove.com

HELP WITH DEATHABROAD WHEN someone dies abroad, the death may seem more distressing because of the complications, but you can get help from the British authorities in the UK and overseas.

If the person dies while you’re in the UK If the death has been reported to the British Consulate in the country where the person died, they will ask the UK police to inform the next of kin. Consular staff in London will keep in touch with the family and the consulate abroad until burial or cremation overseas or until the deceased has been brought back to the UK. If the person dies while you’re abroad with them The British Consul will support you. If the person died while on a package holiday, the tour operator will be able to help. Registering the death where the person died You will need to register the death according to local regulations and get a death certificate. You can often register the death at the British Consulate. It’s not compulsory, but if you do, you can buy a UK-style death certificate, and the record will be sent to the General Register Office within 12 months. If the deceased was a serving member of the British armed forces, their commanding officer can request the registration. If the body is to be brought back to England or Wales, this must be reported to the coroner for the district where the funeral will take place. If the body is to be cremated, you will need a coroner’s Certificate for Cremation. Documents you’ll need to register the death When registering the death, you should take information about yourself and the deceased: n Full name and date of birth n Passport number and where and when it was issued n Details of the next of kin Bringing the body home If you wish to bring the body back to the UK, British Consular staff will put you in touch with an international funeral director. The body will need to be embalmed and placed in a zinc-lined coffin before it can be removed from the country. Documents you will need Before you can bring the body home, you’ll need: n A certified English translation of the foreign death certificate n Authorisation to remove the deceased’s body from the country n A certificate of embalming The British Consul can help to arrange the above documentation.

Funeral costs If the deceased’s funeral costs are covered by travel insurance, the insurance company will be able to make the necessary arrangements. If not, you’ll have to pay all costs including hospital bills and repatriation of the body and possessions. Arranging the funeral in the UK Take an authenticated translation of the death certificate to the register office and the registrar will issue a ‘certificate of no liability to register’. This certificate is usually given to the funeral director to enable the funeral to go ahead. The certificate is not required if a coroner has issued a Certificate for Cremation or an Order for Burial. If you wish to have the body cremated you will need the coroner’s certificate before you start planning the funeral. Having the funeral abroad You can arrange for the burial or cremation in the country where the person died. The British Consulate can give you advice about this. Deaths in disasters abroad The Foreign and Commonwealth Office for help. They will provide support and advice on this and all other related matters. The main enquiry number is 020 7008 1500. They are open 24 hours a day.

TALKING ABOUT DEATH

IT is not always easy to talk about death and the loss of a loved one. Here are a selection of books which offer advice

need to respond appropriately. This book addresses some challenging questions such as: What to say and what not to say? How to balance the needs of the person and the job? How do you get it right in a diverse, multi-cultural workforce? How do you decide what time off is reasonable? How can other people at work help, as well as avoiding making the situation worse? It covers issues such as what do in the event of a sudden death at work, managing staff who are terminally ill, and practical help after death including funerals. It is a unique and constant point of reference for anyone concerned with one of the most challenging issues to be faced in the workplace. The Shape of Bereavement by Roger Grainger An insight into the process of grief and mourning by drawing on interviews with people who have experienced bereavement. The book focuses on experience and the importance of a caring relationship in enabling a bereaved individual to move forward on their journey from trauma to recovery and renewal. Case studies based on real events and situations are used alongside psychological perspectives to show how people talk about themselves when they are actively encouraged, and consciously enabled, to share their grief. Topics include: the impact of loss on our emotions disorientation through loss the impulse to deny loss knowing yet not knowing rites of passage working through it together.

The D-Word: Talking About Dying: A Guide for Relatives, Friends and Carers by Sue Brayne The D-Word is a practical guide to support relatives, friends and carers who are coping with the distress and anxiety of someone nearing the end of life, or who has suddenly died. Today, life-extending treatments have over-ridden care for the soul. Death is regarded as a medical failure, and usually hidden away in hospitals, hospices, nursing homes and mortuaries. We have lost the ability to talk openly about the end of life. It’s frightening to know how to talk to a relative or friend who is dying, or to someone who has been suddenly bereaved but unless we confront this fear, important things can remain unsaid or incomplete, which often turns into unresolved grief, guilt and anger. Personal stories explore the different ways people have come to terms with the dying process or the sudden death of their spouse, partner, parent, friend or child, how they have confronted their fear of talking about it, and ways in which they found support during this very difficult time.

Working with Bereaved Children andYoung People by Brenda Mallon Insight into working practices with children and young people who are experiencing the death of a family member, friend, school peer or in their social network. The book’s practical skills focus is informed by research findings on children and young people’s experience of grief. Includes a comprehensive review of theoretical approaches to bereavement; the impact of different types of grief on children; working with children who have been bereaved in traumatic circumstances, such as through criminal behaviour; skills development. Trainees in counselling, psychotherapy and social work, as well as teachers and mental health workers, will find this an invaluable resource for working with this vulnerable client group. by David Charles-Edwards An estimated 3,500 people die every day in the UK. If someone at work or their partner or close family member dies, managers and colleagues Handling Death and Bereavement at Work

NEWBURY RECLAIM A friendly local recycling and clearance company. We can clear and recycle very small jobs with only a few items up to a whole house, office, shed, garage or garden. We clear furniture, carpets, electrical equipment, metal, builders waste, garden waste and more. Recycle value of items subtracted from total clearance cost. We aim to recycle as much as possible on every job we take on. Free quotes and advise given on every job. All sorts of jobs considered. Polite and discreet at all times. 07799 577 456 7 St Mary’s Rd, Newbury, Berks RG14 1ES paul339@btinternet.com www.newburyreclaim.com

NEWBURY ROYAL BRITISH LEGION CLUB We offer a welcoming and friendly environment in the heart of Newbury where friends and family can come together to share memories of their loved ones. For further information or discuss your requirements then please contact us as below 07555364775 07785 701 721 email: dunk-d@sky.com PELICAN LANE TrinityWillWriters Long established family business (01635) 298999 www.needawill.co.uk

Grief is a natural process which is unique for everyone. Bereavement counselling offers a confidential environment to help clients work through difficult feelings and process their grief in their own time recognising the love and the loss with respect and compassion. Louise Roberts BA (Hons) Prof. Dip Psy C Counsellor & Psychotherapist Tel: 07771 605067

GIVING your home to your children to avoid inheritance tax or care cost is not a good idea – writes Chris Davies, of Trinity Will Writers Ltd. Firstly, the local authority is empowered to disregard without limit of time, any transaction that it considers ‘self deprivation’ . Secondly, any change that transfers this ownership of your home, robs you of your security and can result in a disaster. Giving your home to one or more of your children is often quoted as an ideal solution, but gifting the property while continuing to live in it, is not a ‘true gift’ in the law unless you may pay the full market rent. If your child does not live in the property, it will not be the primary residence of the owner and will therefore qualify for capital gains tax on any increase in value. If your child gets involved in divorce or bankruptcy proceedings, your house will be one of their assets, to be claimed in the legal proceedings. If your child dies before you, your house will be part of their estate and go to their beneficiaries. If your relationship with your child breaks down, your ability to remain in your house would be prejudiced. For those reasons it is recommended that you seek proper legal advice. Trinity Will Writers Ltd can take away the headache of writing your will. MAKING A WILL TRINITY WILL WRITERS

£195 SingleWill £245 MirrorWills

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